Bleach Hereafter RPG

Milo let herself relax to the ministrations of Cole's handiwork in correcting her blunder, her eyes keeping themselves glued as Cole chiseled away. The way the quiet and solemn silence lasted for only a moment caught her off guard with an unexpected question she had yet to be asked by the very person she had longed for. No, this question came from a complete stranger who seemed more than understanding to her current insecurities.

Milo lifted her face away from the safety of her feeble wall that were her knees in this guarded position she always took to comfort herself. She blinked for a moment before looking to the side to think on how to answer.

"A..goal or a dream? Um...no one's really asked me that." The lavender haired arrancar continued to think for another moment as she hummed softly. It wasn't as if she didn't think if this before, it was just something she believed of little importance and not at all relevant to what Nezuel was after. But...

"I want to see the world. All of it with my own eyes and enjoy the moment when I accomplish this. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet without feeling like a burden...I know it's not a very detailed long term goal, but it was the very first thing that came to mind when I woke up." Milo outstretched her hand as if to reach toward said desire, almost as if she could do so on the whim.

"I know my wants are trivial and just something that would get in Nezuel's way, so I chose to keep this little wish of mine to myself. A little childish, but it's like I can hold my own secret to myself when I know Nezuel has his many stashed away." The arrancar only shook her head and moved herself into a much more comfortable and relaxed sitting position.

"What about you, Cole?"

Cole allowed his mind to zone out on the monotonous task of chiseling out the runes as he listened to Milo talk about herself. The woman had a dream to be able to be on her own and see the world, but was worried that it would get in Nezuel’s way. From the way she had reacted to his offhand comment about a kiss; it seemed that Milo cared for the other Arrancar a great deal.

It didn’t sound like it was a healthy relationship, but giving near-immortal beings relationship advice seemed out of his depth. He couldn’t even get over the mental hump of the age difference between himself and most other Shinigami. Not that he had noticed any expressing any interest, but he just couldn’t imagine a serious relationship with someone who was around for World War II, not to mention all the Shinigami long before that.

So he gave a faint nod as he moved to the next rune, ”Goals don’t need to be detailed; you figure out something you want long term, then you work towards the little things that help you accomplish it. Also, it’s hardly childish, wanting to see the world, to travel, to experience new things is one of the most common goals among humanity. I’d hesitate to dismiss anyone’s dreams as trivial.”

He glanced over his shoulder at her and gave her a gentle smile, ”My own goal is similarly broad, to be honest. I want to figure it all out. The cycle of souls, why it operates the way it does, what’s the endgame? It ignores fundamental laws of physics, near as I can tell the total spiritual energy of the realms keeps increasing. First law of thermodynamics, thrown out for the cycle of souls. I think tha–”

The Shinigami shook his head, stopping himself from going into some hypotheses he had made. They could be here for hours after he finished the runes if he let himself get into his theories, ”Nevermind that, back to you. What’s the first step you can take towards your goal?”

Milo liked the gentleness that was Cole and his way of coaxing more thoughtfulness about herself. Sure she was used to focusing on everyone else and rarely on herself, so this change of pace was very welcoming. Her dream wasn't childish, and she was glad she had it confirmed by the shinigami as he continued to work his tools onto the stone. Her golden orbs looked to her hands and then over to Cole, with a timid smile to show her uncertainty of her answer.

"I would need to learn how to open a Garganta by myself...um, maybe stop depending on Nezuel so much so I can explore the world of the living myself." Milo's voice softly began as she played with a strand of her wavy hair, nervous about her answer being incorrect in direction. Was this the right course of action? She was so used to clinging on to Nezuel, but if she were to truly begin to flourish and be herself comfortably...

Perhaps this would be the right move.

"Is it...is it really ok for me to want to do something completely different to what Nezuel wants? Maybe he wouldn't mind? I don't want to drag him down with what I want, but...is it ok for me to be selfish just a bit?" Milo nervously began to twirl the strand of hair in between her fingers, a habit she picked up on her many moments alone. She was beginning to let herself overthink what ifs and uncertainties that constantly terrify her days and nights.

Cole was concentrating on the runes, so a scoff made it out of his throat before he could stop it. Not that he thought it was the wrong emotion, but it was a bit more blunt than he wanted to be; but too late now, he was committed, ”Of course it is.”

He stood up, his dark eyes locking on her golden ones, ”Unless this realm has some laws you haven’t mentioned, you’re your own person. Nezuel is clearly doing his own thing, there’s no reason for you to just sit at home and wait for him to give you permission to follow your dream. Listen, Milo; I don’t know what your relationship with Nezuel is, and I don’t intend to sabotage whatever you might have with him. But…”

The Shinigami shook his head, giving a heavy sigh, ”You should know when I met him he asked me about leaving Hueco Mundo and joining ranks with the Shinigami.  He didn’t mention bringing anyone else with him.”

Cole didn't move towards the woman, giving her his best comforting expression from a few feet away.  He probably should have sugarcoated it a bit, but maybe Milo needed to hear the blunt truth.  He didn’t really regret saying them, but he assumed she wasn’t going to take it well given her last reaction to Nezuel's Shinigami-related activities, ”I’m sorry, but pursuing your dreams is probably the best thing for you to do.  It’s not selfish, it’s natural.  Hell, Nezuel might even be happy that you’re striking off on your own.”

Milo felt herself tense and flinch a bit with Cole's reaction. In the back of her mind, it triggered a bit of a familiar sense of familial concern. Cole's tone was stern and firm, in a way that let the words sink themselves into her mind. It hurt having to hear those words but...it was true after all. Nezuel had been doing his own thing as she was left in their home like some lovesick fool-...ah, lovesick.

Milo felt her shoulders go slack, the emotional pain was there but she couldn't control whatever it was what Nezuel wanted to do. She had already felt useless and a burden for what few details she could manage to pick up from her fractured memory. What she wanted to do would only drag the other down, and she had been trying to fulfill whatever usefulness she could manage out of herself to please the other.

She felt like an utter fool for even trying to force herself into being something she could never be for him. Maybe Cole was right, perhaps Nezuel would even feel happier that she's on her own.

A good riddance to the heavy burden that is her uselessness...

"Yeah...sounds like him. He...often doesn't mention me to keep me safe, or so he says. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd celebrate finally getting me off his back." Milo could only sigh before sliding over to sit closer to the shinigami. She was so utterly alone and lonely, well she did have her other friend she rescued but that was a different matter altogether. However, if Nezuel would be keeping secrets from her then she may as well keep her activities and accomplishing her goals from him. She tried her best not to seem too saddened.

"Thanks, Cole. I think you gave me the push I needed in the right direction. The only relationship Nez and I really had going was just a weird friendship...even though..." Milo gave another disheartened sigh as she shook her head of the softer moments they would have alone.

"Hmm...I should probably take my leave now. I don't think there's nothing for me to do here. It was a pleasure to have met you Cole, if only for a short moment. If you see Nezuel before I do, tell him I said hi." Milo stood up and patted at her uniform from any stray grains of the sand that covered their sitting area.

If Cole were to activate the runes any time soon, it would be best for her to make her leave. It was as if her new acquaintances were only made to last for mere moments before anything else could come from them. Better to learn that now than later she guessed as much.

Cole had never been particularly good at this part of giving advice. Occasionally, students, both male and female, had come to him in the midst of some issue, and he would do his best to walk them through their problems. Sometimes, there were tears, and while he knew what they sometimes wanted was a shoulder to lean on, he never gave more physical contact than a handshake. Professor Alexander was a professional, but also distinctly aware of the fact that he was a single adult male; there was a line between him and students he didn’t cross.  Those instincts of professional self-preservation were strong, and he had come to view Milo like one of his old students over the their brief time together.

”I'm not saying he doesn't care about you. But you need to care about yourself first." It wasn't unusual for students to start thinking the young professor of esoteric philosophy would be a great stand-in for a psychologist. Part of him knew sometimes these kids needed a simple hug, but he wasn’t the person to provide it. He thought for a moment, taking a step away from the woman, and bent over to pick up the bloody cloth, "Tell you what, I can make this a way for you to get in touch with me, even when I'm not in Hueco Mundo. I can’t really give you any direct help, but if you need to talk, I can try to be a friendly ear.”

Milo paused as she looked over her shoulder and looked away for only a small moment. Cole had the resemblance of what would be considered a concerned friend, or what little she knew of what friendships were like. The arrancar only sighed as she turned to face the shinigami, her golden eyes hesitating to look at Cole directly in the eyes. She didn't want to hope that she could possibly have a newfound friend, only to be brushed aside like some sort of nuisance. But...

"That...That would be nice. To have someone to speak to, that is." Milo eventually spoke up as her gaze finally looked up from her saddened side glance. Perhaps it would be ok to hold on to that small hope of finally having a friend.

"Well, only if it isn't a bother to you. I'm sure you're pretty busy, being a shinigami and whatnot." The lavender haired arrancar quickly added, nervously fidgeting with her hands.

"Taking care of myself is the first step in bettering myself and in order to have a good friendship with another, I shouldn't give up on my own wants either. Right? Whether or not if Nezuel cares, I shouldn't let his ambitions overshadow my own...I guess." She spoke mostly as a way to reassure herself that what she was doing wasn't wrong in any way.

Cole nodded, ”Exactly, his ambitions are his, and you can feel free to help him if you want to, but you’ve got your own dreams, and he needs to respect that.”

The Shinigami pricked his finger on the athame and let a few drop of blood fall onto the cloth already stained with the Arrancar’s blood.. He focused some energy and created a small flame at the tip of his finger, and sketched a few quick designs on the cloth. Then, he unceremoniously ripped it in half.

When he handed half of it to Milo, strangely, the cloth was no longer damp or sticky with blood, but appeared to have simply become the color of the cloth. ”But it’s no bother; you’re been pleasant company, and there’s a surprising amount of downtime in the Shinigami life.”

Cole nodded at the red cloth, burned in patterns similar in nature to the engravings on the stone and tree, ”It’s not going to be as good as a phone call, but it should work pretty similarly. If you need to talk, hold the cloth and channel a little bit of energy into it. It’ll let me know that you’re trying to get in touch with me, even if I can’t respond immediately. Ditto if I try to contact you. Theoretically it should work across different planes, but I haven’t really tried it before, but blood is an extremely powerful conduit.”

Milo couldn't help but smile at Cole's words. He was a kind shinigami and something in her chest twisted with...guilt? Perhaps from her past memories that were ingrained into her subconscious and buried underneath. She brushed it off for something to dwell on for another time, for now, Milo took the cloth and held it in her hands thoughtfully. The lavender haired arrancar was content with the advice given onto her and finally felt like she had found a sound choice in direction for herself.

Even though she had different goals in mind, Nezuel was still someone she very much loved and cared for...so she would make sure to support him in whatever he needed. She needed to make sure to not lose herself in the process and make sure to stay her ground when it came to her ambitions.

"Thank you, Cole. I'll make sure to tell you anything that happens on my andventures. Um...if there are any questions I have, you wouldn't mind answering them? You do know a lot more about stuff than me, so teach me what you can!" Milo happily chimed and made sure to tie cloth over the hilt of her tanto blade.

"I should...um, I'll figure something out as a thank you gift. It's the right thing to do since you will be taking time out of your day to help my silly questions. Until next time?"